Pirates must have kick-ass publicists. I mean, everyone agrees that piracy is a crime. Fighting it is erga omnes. That’s Latin for “owed by all” and legalese for: Every nation has an obligation to thwart those AK-47-wielding, ransom-demanding, cargo-pillaging kidnapper-murderers. We all believe that they’re very real and very scary and should be stopped. Yet we still love the idea of pirates—those braid-bearded, rum-reeking, vengeance-seeking, lovable scallywags. How often do we see them depicted in popular culture as anything but awesome? As Steve Jobs said, why join the Navy if you can be a pirate? Seriously.